Assalamualaikum w.b.t

What I write about might not be what I feel. It could be random. It could be about you, you or you. Or it could be about me. This is how I see the world. At least from what I saw through this thick spectacles.


Saturday, December 29, 2012

Ghost of You.

"Lagu seterusnya ialah Ghost of You by My Chemical Romance. Hani, this song's for you." 

Dan aku tersenyum pada ketika Alif melantunkan suaranya menzahirkan bait-bait lirik yang sentiasa bermain di telingaku. 'Ah, you know me too well Alif.'

At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home 
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the things that you never told me 
And the smiles that are never ever

"Awak, saya tak boleh berjanji untuk menyayangi awak seumur hidup saya. Tapi saya pinta denganNYA agar kasih dan cinta saya sentiasa bersama awak."
"Dan saya juga tidak dapat berjanji untuk sentiasa bersama awak. Tapi saya minta izinNYA agar DIA reserve tempat saya di samping awak sentiasa."

"Eh, apa pulak bersaya-awak ni. Dah halal dah pun. Hani, panggil Alif abanglah! Haish, dah menikah pun malu-malu lagi ke?"
"Aaaaa Abang Long! Suka hati kitoranglah!" Aku menyahut gurauan abang sulung aku, Hazim dengan muka yang merah sambil bingkas ke dapur. Perlakuanku itu disambut dengan gelak tawa mereka yang berada di ruang tamu serta Alif yang tersenyum-senyum. 

"Alif, jaga adik aku tu elok-elok."
"In syaa ALLAH Hazim. Adik kawan baik aku, mestilah aku jaga baik-baik. Kalau tak naya aku kena terajang dengan kau." 
"Haha. Tahu pun! Tapi tak sangka jodoh adik aku tu dengan kau. Rupanya DIA anugerahkan jodoh yang sangat dekat untuk Hani. Siapa sangka kan?"
"Haah. Siapa sangka." 

Dari sudut sebelah peti ais, aku nampak Alif tersenyum dengan matanya fokus padaku. Dan aku balas dengan senyuman paling manis buat Alif, lelaki yang sudah empat jam sah menjadi suami aku. 

La la la~

assalamualaikum wbt.

I wanna write but I can't seem to put those lightbulbs in my head into words. They just hanging there and scattered everywhere. Urgh, macam nak berak tapi takleh keluar.

Lagipun tengah sakit rumah. Rindu rumah dan lagi rindu orang-orang di rumah.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Ohh I couldn't resist but to post this here.

assalamualaikum wbt. 

“You should date a girl who reads.
Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.
Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she has found the book she wants. You see that weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a secondhand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow and worn.
She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.
Buy her another cup of coffee.
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.
It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry and in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.
She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.
Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who read understand that all things must come to end, but that you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.
If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.
You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.
You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.
Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.
Or better yet, date a girl who writes.”

*found it here.
**I've gotta say this is sweet. And the italic font up there are my favourite sentences.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Hmm this is interesting.

assalamualaikum wbt. 

Don't assume that guys won't care where you are, because we do.
It makes us feel secure to know that our girlfriends aren't off flirting with guys we've never heard of.

*Also, don't talk about your ex-boyfriends.
We never have, nor ever will respect or like them, nor do we want to hear about them.
When you do, you're asking your boyfriend to be jealous.
You're asking your boyfriend to lose trust.

*On that, don't hump everything that walks into the room.
We don't care if you talk to other guys.
We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.
It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.

*Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/ cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it.
Don't tell us we're wrong.
We'll stop trying to convince you.
The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
Yeah, you can quote me.

*Don't be mad when we hold the door open.
Smile and say "thank you."
Let us pay for you.
Don't "feel bad."
We enjoy doing it.
It's expected.
Smile and say - everybody together now - "thank you."

*Kiss us when no one's watching.
If you kiss us when you know nobody's looking we'll be more impressed.

*You don't have to get dressed up for us.
If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have, put on every kind of makeup you own.
We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you are.

*Don't flirt with guys when we're not around.
We'll find out. Trust us.
We have eyes everywhere.
And when we find out, we're pissed.
Not necessarily with the guys you flirted with, more-so with you.

*Don't take everything we say seriously.
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.
Don't get angry easily.
Stop using magazines/media as your bible.

*Don't talk about how hot Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt is in front of us.
It's boring, and we don't care.
You have girlfriends for that.

*Whatever happened to the word "handsome"?
Why does everything have to be "hot/sexy"?
I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with "Hey handsome!" instead of "Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy" or whatever else you can think of.
Claiming girls or guys to be "hot" shows immaturity.

**Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, don't wait for him to change.
Ditch his sorry, disgrace-to-the-male-population ass, and find someone who will treat you with utter respect.
Someone who will honor your morals.
Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.

*I happened to find this here. Kinda interesting, don't you think? :)

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Long distance relationship.

assalamualaikum wbt. 

Many or perhaps most people is not comfortable with long distance relationship. Or LDR. Kenapa? 

"Susah la LDR ni. Nanti entah apa-apa yang dia buat kat sana. Mentang-mentang jauh."
"Lelaki. Suka la LDR ni. Kita tak nampak dia. Tak tahu apa yang dia buat. Entah-entah seronok pasang dua, tiga."
"Ish, ko tau la awek aku. Hot setaff okeh. Risaulah aku jauh-jauh ni. Nanti kang jantan mana nak ngorat dia. Kang sunyi-sunyi aku takde dengan dia nanti entah mana-mana jantan yang teman. Haish."

Hah, cukup-cukuplah situasi aku kasi tu. Dah cukup dah situasi untuk menggambarkan betapa disasternya LDR ni. 

Tapi kan, perasan tak dari semua situasi yang aku kasi tu puncanya dari satu benda je. 


Yep. Trust. Percaya. 

In a relationship, trust is a must. Apa guna bina kapal tapi tak percaya dekat anak kapal. Dah elok-elok dia turunkan sauh, kita boleh pulak gi soal dia banyak-banyak kali. Betul ke dah turunkan sauh? Betul ke? Betul ke? Idok ke rimas orang tu. 

Sama la dengan perhubungan. Kena ada asas percaya. Kalau takde percaya, hubungan yang takde masalah pun di awalnya boleh musnah. Okeh, aku bagi situasi. 

Situasi 1:
"Hai awak. Saya dah sampai kolej ni. :)"
"Dah sampai dah? Dari bus station tu awak naik apa?"
"Saya naik bas la awak."
"Betul ke ni? Macam cepat semacam je awak sampai kolej. Bukan selalunya ambik masa dalam 45 minit jugak ke? Ni setengah jam dah sampai."
"Hari ni traffic smooth. Takde jam ke apa. That's why cepat. Alah, lagipun awal 15 minit je pun awak."
"Hmmm bukan sebab ada orang tolong ambikkan ke? Kan awak baik dengan Adif tu. Mesti dia yang ambikkan kan?"
"Mana adalah awak ni. Ke situ plak. Kalau dia yang ambikkan mestila saya dah gitau awak."
"Alah, mana tahu. Mentang-mentang saya takde kat situ. Manalah saya tahu kalau awak tipu saya ke apa kan?"
"Dah awak ni kenapa? Tak percaya sangat awak tanyalah sendiri Adif tu. Malas nak cakap dengan awak. Tak pernah nak percaya dekat saya kan?"
"Bla bla bla"

Sekali dua boleh tahan lagi. Kalau hari-hari? Manalah tahan. Hubungan yang dibina pun retak dan pecah. Tahu-tahu si makwe dah kapel dengan si Adif tu. Hambik kau. Kata-kata tu doa tahu? 

Sebenarnya, bila takde trust ni, kita tend to have doubts. Doubts akan membawa kepada prasangka. Prasangka membawa kepada curiga. Then? Hah, jawablah sendiri. 

Tapi, bukan senang untuk ada trust ni. Lagi-lagi tak nampak depan mata. Ye, tu aku akui. Tapi bagi aku, aku ambik langkah untuk trust dia sebab aku malas nak berprasangka. And aku percaya yang kalau aku trust dia, dia akan respect aku dan trust aku jugak. Give and take kan? Tapi kalau dia betray aku jugak, aku anggap tu bukan rezeki akulah tu. Bukan rezeki aku nak prolong the relationship sampai menikah. Dan sebab dia bukan jodoh aku. 

And besides, we girls have instincts. And those instincts are our sixth sense. 

*Fuh, lama dah nak tulis pasal ni sebenarnya. Sejak aku still in relationship lagi. Langsai jugak hari ni. 

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Of @rumahkelabu

assalamualaikum wbt. 

Heh. Sekarang ni pemalas gilaaaaaa nak update blog. Mentang-mentang dah ada twitter~ Haha :D Macam mana entah boleh terbuat twitter. Tapi ada twitter kinda senang jugak la. Apa yang ada kat kepala boleh terus tweet. Kalau blog kena ngadap lappy pikir-pikir dulu nak karang apa. Akan tetapi! Ceh, tetiba ayat karangan Bahasa Melayu SPM. Duhai blog, takkan ku lupakan mu. Sesungguhnya engkau telah bersamaku sejak sekian lama. Tidakku tega untuk meninggalkanmu. 

Anyway, haritu time Convo Fair UTP, LejenPress bukak booth. Oh, pengalaman manis di situ. :) Dan time tu jugaklah perasan tweethandle aku tu macam tajuk buku Fixi, Kelabu. Tak perasan langsung! Sebenarnya nak @rumahputih tapi takpat. Pastu hati tergerak nak buat @rumahkelabu. Dahla suka gila buku Kelabu tu! Tahniah author Kelabu! :D

So, till then blog! I'll see you again when I see you. 

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

In this fine day,

assalamualaikum wbt.

In this fine day,
I want to lie on the green grass
And watch the blue sky.

In this fine day,
I want to sit in a coffee shop
And indulge myself in the coffee scent.

In this fine day,
I want to stare at the waves
And watch them crushing themselves to the shore.

And in this fine day,
I thank You.
For keeping me alive.
And giving me all the reasons for me to live my life.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Gossip Girl. And friendship.

assalamualaikum wbt. 

When you need a serious hint of true friendship, go and watch Gossip Girl. I mean, they fight, they bite, and they turned their back from each other but then eventually, they always seek for each other's presence. And knowing the last thing they want to destroy is their relationship. 

And, oh yes. Watching it will relieve your desire to shop by looking whatever they wear. Well, at least it works for me. I love Blair's clothes. And shoes. Handbags? Urm, not to my liking. 

Typical girls huh? Well then, I am a girl after all. :D

Thursday, October 4, 2012

You have a brain, don't you? So use it!

assalamualaikum wbt.

Aku sayang kawan-kawan aku. Tapi dah kau buat aku camni, hangin jugak aku. Pastu senang-senang je nak mintak maaf. Yes, I know to forgive is a very honourable thing to do. But then you spoilt my birthday two years in a row! Of all days, still you pick this day to ruin. Urgh. 

I really do not understand why you stick to that girl. You clearly know she made you feel terrible. Still, you stick to her like a gum. I see myself in you though. Perhaps that was how I looked those days. Urgh, pathetic. 

Pathetic me, then. And pathetic you, now. 

If I knew then being friend with you again will get me into this trouble, I won't be. And now I am trapped. 

Urgh. Silly me. 

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Friday, September 28, 2012

Hate vs Love

assalamualaikum wbt.

Hate. Is a powerful feeling. And so does love. 

So why hate when we can love?

An advice from a friend to another friend.

assalamualaikum wbt.

Take her somewhere peace, cool. And talk to her. Mend the broken relationship. If she loves you, she will do whatever it takes to make the relationship work. 

But, if she doesn't, you might as well let her go. You are only wasting your time. And hers. 

Love. It works in both ways. 

It takes two to tango. Indeed. 

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Puding buah.

assalamualaikum wbt.

Seeing this picture only making me feel hungry. Oh, the sweetness of home-cooked meals. Especially by umi. *sigh*

Oh ya. Selamat ulang tahun untuk dua orang adik kesayangan, Muhammad Fazli dan Nur Anisa Abdul Aziz! Hadiah claim nanti ye. Hehe

Dan juga untuk sorang budak kecik yang tak literally kecik, yang nakal kemain. Takmo letak nama. Padan muka haha! :PP

*picture credit to my cousin.

Monday, September 24, 2012

The so-called right timing.

assalamualaikum wbt.

Time. We always wait for the right time. Waiting for the so-called right timing. But then, how can we know the right timing before we even get our acts together? Apparently, you'll know whether it is the right time or not after we do what we gotta do. If it is the right time, then yay! If not? Try again please. Or rather, you're dead. 

However, everything happens for a reason. 

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Karma is really a bitch, man!

assalamualaikum wbt.

See, karma hits you again. Real hard, huh? No, I won't say you deserve it. It has been such a long time since I've been holding grudges. But now you know. That whatever you give, you'll get them back. So, yeah. Be prepared for more. Mwahaha :P

Thursday, September 20, 2012

assalamualaikum wbt. 

Sometimes, telling your problems to a complete stranger is much much easier. Perhaps, that's the reason why I tend to tell mine to strangers. 

Monday, September 17, 2012

The best of both worlds?

assalamualaikum wbt.

Most of the times, both are wanting the best for each other. Struggled too hard for it. But, sometimes, they have different things in mind. And those with more power than the other tend to make the other to accept what they have in mind.

Solutions? Talk. Communicate. Discuss. Tell each other what you have in mind. And rationalize what's exactly the best.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

How did you do it?

assalamualaikum wbt.

I hate it when you manage to put a smile on my lips. On my bad day. Effortlessly.


Thursday, September 6, 2012

Para Para Sakura & Aaron Kwok.

assalamualaikum wbt.

Love. You'll never know when it hits you. But, you know that you're in love.

Aaron Kwok. Hello, childhood crush!

Sunday, September 2, 2012


assalamualaikum wbt.

Suddenly I felt a sudden sharp thrust through my heart. Please. I cannot afford emotional break down at this time.

Go away sudden sadness and misery. Please.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Hunny Madu.

assalamualaikum wbt.


Entah camne boleh duk ulang-ulang lagu ni. -_-"

Tuesday, August 14, 2012


assalamualaikum wbt.

Hati perempuan bukan seperti lelaki. Boleh sayang dua lelaki atau lebih dalam satu masa. Dia hanya nampak seorang. Dan hanya seorang.

Friday, August 10, 2012

You walk the talk first.

assalamualaikum wbt.

Came across an article regarding on how the government should set an example in changing the lifestyle to cope with the inflation. The author listed out 15 simple solutions and I found a few catching my eyes.

7. Make all civil servants and politicians travel economy class. That means really travelling at the back of the plane and not buying full fare economy class tickets that allow them to be upgraded to Business Class.
Yep, agree. Stop using the taxes we paid to accommodate your Business Class trip. Economy Class should be sufficient.

8. Stop having the full complement of police escorts to cut down on petrol costs. If they need to be somewhere by a certain time, start earlier like the rest of us. Wouldn’t be a bad thing for them to also experience a traffic jam.
Hah, yang ni memang seriously setuju. I don't really seeing any points of having escorts except drawing attention to you as well as curses as you go through the traffic congestion with ease while the others need to wait patiently.

9. Once a week (or more), have ministers use public transport so they know what everyone else has to suffer. This might provide them with the incentive to improve them.
I think this is crucial for the ministers to experience using public transport. And by that, I mean a real one. Not the one built specifically for the ministers. Experience the hardship we experience everyday while you easily go through the traffic with escorts.

10. Once a week, let ministers go to a market to buy food for their families with instructions to not spend more than RM100.
Yep, see how much food we can buy with Rm100. Not really a lot, unfortunately.

12. Once a month, get civil servants to work with one disadvantaged group in order to be better able to appreciate their problems. It could be blind people one month, hearing disabled people the next, orang asli the following month and people living with HIV/AIDS after that.
Taking action after experiencing the true situation. It will be a lot more meaningful and effective.

13. Have PA systems that shout out the name of the officers who have to serve people at government offices so that people get the services they came for and don’t have to keep coming back just because the officer was out having coffee.
Absolutely. And stop closing counters at 430pm when the operating hours states that you are suppose to shut your counter at 5pm.

*Article taken from here.

Bicara tentang rindu.

assalamualaikum wbt.

Hati kata rindu. Hati kata sayang. Tapi mungkin aku masih tak bersedia. Tapi ketahuilah kawan, kau senantiasa di hati. Dan juga doaku.


*Macam makin kurus. Sihat tak ni?
**Gambar diambil dari sini.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Aku dan engkau tak sama. Kita berbeza.

assalamualaikum wbt.

Cerita aku. Cerita kau. Ia ialah dua benda berbeza. Tak sama. Dan juga tak serupa. So, boleh tak jangan banding-banding?

Humans. It is their nature to compare one thing with another.

*It's kinda hurts when you said those words. You made me feel like I was weeping for some stupid, silly reasons. It might be a small thing for you. But it is a huge deal for me.

Thursday, June 28, 2012


assalamualaikum wbt.

And once in a while, even it seems cliché, a man just has to be there for her.
-JD, S03e15-

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

What if?

assalamualaikum wbt.

What if?

What if?

and, what if?

We asked ourselves that question a lot. And do we dare to know the answer? No, I bet we not. Don't we?

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Somebody that I used to know

assalamualaikum wbt.

Told myself that you were right for me.
But felt so lonely in your company.
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember.

Heh. Manusia. Camtula kan? Living in your own reality. Wouldn't believe the real reality until it comes and slaps your face.

Cakap tak serupa bikin.

assalamualaikum wbt.

Kadang-kala pelik dengan manusia ni. Selalu mengatakan sesuatu. Menegakkan sesuatu. Tapi, bila tiba masanya, benda yang pernah ditegakkan dibiar layu begitu sahaja. Ah, jangan berkata sesuatu jika merasakan apa yang dikatakan itu tidak dapat ditunaikan.

Ada seorang abang pernah cakap. "Jangan cakap kalau rasa tak boleh tanggung dan jawab akan apa yang dikatakan."

And I guess it is true after all. Sebab apa yang kita cakapkan ni akan diuji. Sebab tu ada istilah cakap tak serupa bikin.

*ingatan untuk diri sendiri sebenarnya.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Yummy cravings.

assalamualaikum wbt.

*Oh my! Ini sangat tempting tahu?*

*Nak pegi Cameron! Nak cari fresh strawberries!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012


assalamualaikum wbt.

Hati ini tidak boleh ditebak. Ah, hati. Aku tahu kau mahu mengatakan sesuatu. Tapi, sungguh! Aku tidak mampu untuk memahami kau.

Again, hati ini tidak boleh ditebak.*sigh*

*route of escapism.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Realization, perhaps?

assalamualaikum wbt.

Dan hari ni aku sedar satu perkara. Sahabat sejati itu takkan pernah ada on-off. Ianya sentiasa berkadar terus seiring dengan masa. Mungkin off di bibir, tapi senantiasa on di hati.

Terima kasih. Kerana menyedarkan aku akan satu hakikat kehidupan itu. :)

Untuk kau di luar sana.

assalamualaikum wbt.

Bila hati sudah berkata-kata. Perlukah lagi bicara menzahirkan maksud? Tidak. Hati ini sudah menjadi satu. Biarpun engkau berdiam, aku tahu apa yang engkau mahu zahirkan. Dan tika aku kehilangan perkataan, engkau bisa menyambung percakapanku. Dan aku mahu kekal begitu.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Shake it out.

assalamualaikum wbt.

Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn

And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around

All of these questions, such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn

*Sometimes I feel like life is making a joke upon me. Or is it me myself?
**There are too many questions yet there's no a single answer.

Friday, March 30, 2012


assalamualaikum wbt.

All your faults to me make you more beautiful.

I love the broken ones,
Maybe I see a part of me in them.

I will be your anchor slowly,
Step by step.

*taken from Dia Frampton's song, The Broken Ones.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Buat kau yang sentiasa ada untuk aku.

assalamualaikum wbt.

Buat engkau yang memberi kata semangat tika aku rebah. Buat engkau yang menerbitkan senyuman di bibirku tika aku kecewa. Buat engkau yang menghiburkan hatiku tika aku walang.


Aku doakan moga engkau sentiasa berbahagia dengan hidupmu. Moga engkau bertemu dengan apa yang engkau cari. Dan moga engkau menemui kebahagiaan yang didambakan itu.

*Aku sayang gila ah mu nani! Nak handbag sebijik! Haha :P
**Btw, sori lambat wish. Huu

Monday, March 26, 2012

Time heals, don't they?

assalamualaikum wbt.

Most of the times, the way you portrayed yourself now makes me feel relieved that I have lost you. Sure, I learned it the hard way. But, anyway, it worth it.


Thursday, March 15, 2012

Cinta hingga hujung nyawa.

assalamualaikum wbt.

Ajal itu ketentuanNYA.

Dua filem yang aku tengok hari ni *heh, keje banyak kemain sempat lagi kau tengok movie cik fana?* iaitu One Day dengan Love, Nora betul-betul mengingatkan aku akan apa yang pernah aku rasa dulu. And btw, kalau nak tau dua filem tu pasal apa silalah google ye. Malas nak cerita kat sini. Anyway, dulu aku pernah cakap, aku rela terputus kasih kerana ajal sebab sekurang-kurangnya aku tahu dia masih setia dengan aku. Mungkin sebab ketika itu perasaan aku masih sakit ditinggalkan menyebabkan aku mengutarakan kenyataan itu.

Tapi lepas tengok dua filem tu, terus rasa macam tak rela dapat situasi macam tu. Sebab tiada siapa yang dapat melawan takdir yang tertulis. Ajal itu sesuatu yang pasti dan tetap akan terjadi. Aku rasa aku takkan sanggup untuk terus menyimpan rasa sayang sedangkan hanya aku sahaja yang berada di dunia ini. Tiada dia untuk selamanya. Ia seolah-olah perasaan itu tergantung tanpa dapat direalisasikan walau selepas seribu tahun pun. Aku takkan sanggup meneruskan hidup tanpa orang yang disayang tiada di sisi untuk selamanya. Kenyataan bahawa dia tiada di dunia yang sama dengan aku itu sangat perit untuk ditelan. Membayangkan sahaja sudah tak terkira peritnya apatah lagi untuk mengalaminya.

Ah, emosional pulak aku malam-malam ni.

*Maafkan aku. Aku tidak pernah mendoakan kau sebegitu tapi sedikit sebanyak rasa sakit yang tak tertanggung waktu itu mendorong aku merasakan sedemikian rupa. Maafkan aku sekali lagi.