the feeling is not here anymore. there's no eagerness like before.there's no excitement like the last 12 months.no more.i tried to retrieve it back.but it keeps hiding.i called for it.but it never answer me back.i am sick.of all those things.i was bored.with all the shits.i tried to ignore it.but the voice keep telling me that it's useless.it keeps haunting me.day and night.sleeping and awake.
i was tired.i was exhausted.for telling that what you said is not true.what i said here is true.but u don't believe me.so what's the point of telling the truth then?i am pretty damn tired u know?
i know.i am not a good person.but i strived to be a better person.i tried.but now i am tired.if this is what i'm gonna have.
i made a mistake.i tried to mend it.but now i hope i never tried.because it's killing me inside.this wound.it will never vanish.it will heal.but the scar will always there.and haunts me almost every second i live this life.
i want to run.to be away.far away.to live in a place where i will build a new life.the life here is not where i belong.i don't find myself here.all i can see is just shadows.shadows of the past.that keep stalking my steps.everywhere.
*just something to scribble on.and letting my heart to speak.